Rahim gives a small peck on Shelja’s forehead. The kiss has become a part of a ritual to prove that it was more than sex.Rahim gets out of the bed, picks up his boxers from the floor and looks at shelja.Her eyes are still closed but he knows she is awake. She likes holding on to the good moments and that’s what she is doing now with closed eyes.Rahim opens the fridge and takes a sip of water to sooth his dry throat. He opens the door to the gallery and lights a cigarette. Delhi had the hottest day of the year and Rahim can still feel the heat but don’t want to go back to the air conditioned room where Shelja is still thinking, Rahim is lying with her. Rahim took deep puffs from the cigarette and feels that smoke is stuck inside him, he can’t puff that out.
Rahim reached Delhi yesterday in the morning. The moment he stepped out of the train he wanted to go back because he always hated the heat of this city. The people rubbing along sweaty bodies and were running like there was a stampede waiting to happen.Rahim kept asking himself ” why the fuck, he should come to this death oven where people are fighting and squabbling over their turn to be baked” Rahim collected his luggage and came out of the station, took an auto rickshaw to East of kailash.
Rahim would be staying in Kamal’s apartment for few days.Kamal has gone to Spain for an exhibition. This apartment always looks so immaculate. You can find everything where it should be. The whole atmosphere is so infallible that it disturbs Rahim. Rahim has observed this pristine atmosphere in all of his friends’ life whose sexual orientations are not civilized. Maybe, these guys want to act kosher, when no one is watching. He picks up “Istanbul-Memories and the city’ from the table and turns on the music.He is glad to hear Kaushiki Chakrabarty singing. Rahim always adored Kamal for his love for books and music. He turns pages and looks at the pictures taken by “Aru Guler” and leaves the book back on the table.
Rahim wastes away a good amount of water to relieve himself of the angst. He makes himself a cup of tea and checks the paper. There are reports of Arundhati Roy been bombarded with ‘chappals’ for saying “People of Kashmir have made themselves abundantly clear about what they want and lets listen to them”. There are reports of Naxal violence as well. Rahim starts thinking why every revolution has to go down into the filthy drain of violence He nonchalantly picks up his cell phone and there are number of unanswered calls reminding him, he is not in Delhi to save the world. He came to Delhi to meet Shelja.
In the evening Rahim takes an auto rickshaw to Nizammuddin Dargah. He gets down at the other side of lane and takes a subway to cross the road. Delhi subways are always scary and appear like his memory lanes, dark and full of stains. He walks through the dark labyrinths to reach the Dargah. Rahim enters Amir Khusroo’s tomb to read fatiha He reads the Quranic verses and wonders whether it was love for his master or his power of words that got him the final resting place so close to Khwaja. He comes out of the tomb of khusroo and passes the freshly mopped alley when he sees Shelja in the crowd listening to the Qawwalis with her eyes closed and wondered what moments she is holding on to now. He goes straight to the tomb of Hazrat Nizamuddin Auliya and offers Fatiha.He always feel good and alive at this place, it’s the music in the air ,he can hear or he may be carrying Khushwant Singh’s impression ** of Delhi.
The Dargah is also part of the ritual. Whenever Rahim comes to Delhi, Shelja always want to meet him first at Nizamuddin Dargah.Rahim looks for shelja amidst the crowd in the courtyard. The Qawwal is singing praises of Hazrat Ali. Rahims finds a place near Shelja and watches her moving like an adolescent cradling herself to sleep.Rahim holds Shelja’s hand and her eyes still remain closed, may be she knows who is holding her hand. When the qawwal takes a break to check the offerings by the crowd, shelja opens her eyes, gives a smile to Rahim and whispers in his ears “Khwaja told me that only love is divine and everything else will vanish. I am glad you are here”.Rahim and Shelja gets up to leave and the qawwals resume the singing.Rahim can hear the Qawwal singing “Love is an eternity, everything else will vanish”.
Rahim is still smoking the last puffs from the cigarette. He would fly back to Jammu in the morning. He takes the last puff and goes back to Shelja.Shelja is still awake .When he lies down, she comes close, holds his arm and starts the conversation.
Shelja : “It seems like, Rahim Sahib is already missing Delhi”
Rahim: “Thats absolutely true, Mademoiselle”
Shelja: “and what’s that you miss”
Rahim: “You tell me, what you think?”
Shelja: “Al-bake’s shoarma, cheap book stalls, Tennessee whiskey, and above all sex.” And then she smiles and asks “So, what you miss most “
Rahim:“You”
Shelja: “Then why don’t you say you love me”.
Rahim says “I love you”and gives her a kiss on the forehead.
Shelja turns around and closes her eyes with a smile on her lips……………………
( References**: Delhi, a novel by Khushwant singh)
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I love u my love
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